i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize