I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
