Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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