And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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