I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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