Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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