that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize