I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
