apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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