You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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