Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
