Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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