ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
