You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
