I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
