So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize