I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
