By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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