i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
