I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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