WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize