I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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