U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
