We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
