Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize