WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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