her vagine was all disorganized.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
