I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
