i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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