i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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