woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
