Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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