Whod you bang
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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