I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
