What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
