Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
