I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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