I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize