why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
