i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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