I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
