Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
