Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
