someone threw a dead crab at me
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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