Having a random hookup so left but love u
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
