4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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