I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Randomize
