her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize