yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
