I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
