I wish my penis had an off switch
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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