people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
