Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
