they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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