Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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