You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
no, he came in my armpit
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Randomize
