He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
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