I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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