your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
