So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
