im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
