my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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