I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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