Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Holy sore nipples Batman
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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