i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
