i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
