strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
