Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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