Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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