remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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