There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
