She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
