how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
