make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
