My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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