I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize